About 8.7 years ago I peed on a stick.... then walked out of the bathroom and announced to my now ex-husband, my friend Jesikuh and her boyfriend (now husband) Christian, that I was pregnant.
We went to Outback for dinner, where I barely ate (completely un-like me). We came home and I sat down and cried!
I get that this is not a normal reaction for a person who has all of their ducks in a row. I had done everything the right way... I had not gotten married to young (26), I had a great job, I had bought a house... everything was going the way it was supposed to.
So why was I crying?
In all honesty, I was not ready to have children... Actually most of my life, I had said, "I don't want kids". I am happy with my dogs, they are my kids.
I spent the next month and a half crying and having severe anxiety attacks. I stopped answering my phone, I stopped talking to people, and I really became a hermit. I sat on my bed with my dog Havok and I cried and told myself, "I can't do this!"
I know, you are probably thinking that I am a horrible person!!! Believe me, I felt like a horrible person.
I am not sure what happened but I slowly started to tell myself that it was going to be okay and that I could do this...
(Oh in the meantime... I was so sick! I couldn't eat anything other grapefruit or citrus smoothies & my doctor made me drink ensure 3x a day.)
Things were going better for me emotionally but I was still sick... I kept losing weight (totally not the normal me). We finally were able to find out what we were having... The ultrasound tech said, "congrats, you are having a girl!"
"Ummmm, what? Did you say we are having a girl? Wait, what do I do with a girl? What if she likes pink and wants to do ballet?"
Yes, I know that when you go in to find out what you are having, there is a 50% chance that you are having a girl... Apparently that never crossed my mind... I just knew that I was having a boy. I seriously was dumbfounded.
Fast forward to the beginning of July... I feel amazing for the first time since I found out I was pregnant. I am now excited that we are having a baby girl. The idea has set in, I have decorated the room, bought all the baby stuff, had a baby shower, and I am ready!
July 7th I woke up to what I thought was gas... then I started timing my gas... It was pretty consistent gas. Hmmm, maybe those are contractions.
I call my dr. and he tells us to come to the hospital. The now ex-husband asks me (totally seriously), "do I need to take you to the hospital?" Me- "no, call me a effing cab!" He then calls work (his dad owned the company) and says, "I'll be late to work". Me- "Um, no you won't... we are having a baby, you aren't going to work!!!"
I had a very easy labor. I checked in to the hospital around 8am and had my sweet baby Boogs by about 5pm. No drugs, no c-section... Easy peasy!!!
From that moment, my life changed. I was in love!!!!! I couldn't stop staring at her. She was so perfect! I didn't sleep all night, I just stared at her and held her bassinet in case I fell asleep and someone stole my gorgeous baby (it happens)!
My life has never been the same, my sweet Boogie girl is so generous, caring, sweet, smart and beautiful!
Oh and her favorite color is pink and she did end up taking ballet... and I love everything about it!
Happy birthday to my sweet sweet girl!!!! I love you so much!!!